I come here looking for mature people, and I hope I can snag a few to read this. I am sad to learn that the internet brings out the worst in people. I was hanging out on the Blizzard forums and I can't stop hearing cry this bully that. I have come to the conclusion that internet bullies have some problem in themselves, such as a life issue. Therefore, they feel the need to "kill" others.
This brings up another question I have pondered: Where do you turn when you need pure, honest, no bullying intended advice? Sure learning on my own is usually pretty effective, but I can't teach myself things I just plain do not understand, and nobody I associate with knows how to do what I would like to attempt.
This community is pretty friendly and thank God (if you're into him) that it's here :) Advice on this would be EXTREMELY helpful and insightful.
Bullies are just people who are hurt. They have some problem that they're unable to talk about, can't cope with, and most of the time it's frustrating for them, obviously, and the only way to seek some form of attention is to bully, because someone will get offended and get noticed. It's a cry for help that usually goes unanswered.
Where to turn to when you need pure, honest, no bullying intended advice?
Wether you are being bullied or not, how about your parents? Your aunts/uncles, older family members, school counselors, school teachers, principle? Anyone who you could look up to, really... I saw in your other post you are 16, so there are definitely ways for you to talk to someone for whatever reason.
I don't know if you live in NA or in EU, but here in Canada(and likely the US too) there's a kids help phoneline you can call toll free to just talk to someone, it's completely anonymous.
uhhh well I am %100 sure I'm not suicidal, lol. I was actually wondering about hobbies and stuff. 9/10 times I see people being jerks wasting their time when I need advice on say, building a PC or on perfecting a build in a 1v1 SC2 match. My dad isn't he best person to talk with if I decided I wanted to be, for example, a NASCAR Driver. He has different hobbies than me. My mom was also wondering why people put others down, I was just talking with her about it. Bullying is supposedly illegal, but that says nothing about the WWW.
BTW: I have seen those hotlines and I live USA. It is hardly "coming out of the closet" types of issues I have lol.
OK... not once did the thought that you might be suicidal come into my mind... lol.
Kids Help Hotline is not(just) for 'coming out of the closet' types of issues... it's for kids who need to reach out to someone because of abuse be it physical, mental, or sexual... it's for any kind of problem; It's a place for kids who are unable/unwilling to go speak about something bothering them to someone they know like their parents or whatnot... lol...
Besides, you left the topic kind of vague, so...
Just because someone has different hobbies than you doesn't mean they're unable to help you come to the right decision FOR YOU.
I mean, do you think every young adult who wants to have a career in the military go talk to someone else... sure, their parents might never have been in the military, but they can still help you make the right decision, and why wouldn't they talk to their parents about something like that??
About wondering why people put others down... to make themselves feel better. When you think about all the problems you have, it seems as if it's the worst ever... so they put others down... they're no longer the lowest on the chain. But they rarely think of the hundreds of people in Africa, let alone Canada/US and other first-world countries who go without food or home every day... some problems truly aren't that big, but if it's yours, it seems like the biggest.
Dangit man, where do you live? You might be a few years older then me, (2) but I wish I had friends who are mature and tetchy like you. (I don't lack smart friends, but for some reason maturity doesn't go along with smartness for everyone like it dose with me)
I'm with you man. I try not to hang out with those people just because they are very...depressing and really kill your imagination, etc. Speaking of bullies I don't think its really because there hurt that they bully people but they like attention, and when they're not getting attention, there going to rage at someone and get the hive(Starcraft reference ftw!) stirred up so they get that attention. I'm not denying that they aren't hurt, everyone is to an extent, but it really has a lot more then just being hurt.
P.S: If you need help perfecting a build in SC2 msg me. I'll help ya.
To be fair, the internet is a great place for any kind of communication. You just need to A) know where to look and B) grow a thick skin. If you get offended by somebody saying something negative about you, it's A) most likely at least partly true or B) will hurt you because you have low self-esteem. If you know yourself well enough, you'll just shrug if a random person on the web calls you an asshole, because you know yourself better than him.
It's a task that can easily take years, but in the end, all you need to do to open up to a world of possible advice is realize that people who are assholes to you can't really do anything at all to you. Online, at least - physical bullying is a different story. It can be extremely tough to do, but realizing that that level 85 rogue ganking you is just some random frustrated guy who can't even do shit if you just log another character or go off for some tea puts you back in control.
That said - parents can often end up being more helpful than you think. I was a bit like you some time back. I have to say I'm extremely lucky with my parents, but that doesn't change the fact that they too are people and will probably have an opinion about something you have to say. If it's not a useful one, you can discard it. If it's useful... nothing lost, pure gain, right?
A) I just fall flat on my face and know better next time (or not)
B) I learn it myself
C) The stars align in just the right way that the right person can teach me something.
D) Or I just find a good tutorial/guide.
If neither A or B work, chances are, that I'll never really grasp it anyways, no matter who explains it to me. Happens rarely that C is active. I couldn't do math at all for years, than I had a programming teacher do math too. Simply by telling me what kind of code would equal the mathematical function, I managed to pull off a 14/20 math test. Was kinda fun. D) is the most common thing that happens.
There is never any easy answers to "real" issues... everyone has at one time or another needed someone to confide in, it's a human need that can only be fulfilled in rare occasions and those should be identified and build upon/from (hopefully those are mostly happy events, unhappy ones are essential too and unavoidable).
You indeed have to take chances, your parents, a friend, or someone you look up to... just typing this post is one of an infinite number of ways to reach out, you'll get shot down sometimes/often but it's like relationships: you need to put yourself "in danger" of being shot down (avoid alleyways and www traps, that's not what I mean and I'm sure you know it).
Just build relationships, the social pressure is only potent if you let it rule your life (and it is present for everyone, just don't let it rule over you like so many people do). Just with this post 2 members have offered their help on two of your "hobbies", this ..because YOU asked. It won't be always be a successful move, but it will always take your commitment to make things happen/evolve.
You shared, so I'll show you it's a good thing to do so. I was taught english and then parachuted in a high school in Baltimore when I was 8, obviously it took some getting use to as I am not an anglo saxon and social pressure at that age is really something awful. I was picked on for several months as the "alien", at the time it took it's toll on me, and I guess among other experiences this forged an acute sense of right and wrong in my persona. I had always done fine on my own until then and this made new needs (friends for one) come out in me... I worked at it and it payed off: I got me some friends that liked the same things I did and I've kept some till this day... but I had to forego the vocal bully like people who liked other stuff (like picking on other people for one) and I had to look for the other less obvious ones until I found them.
I do hope you find people to confide in, loads of people don't even look/work at this and end up sad or cold. Bullies are not only people with issues to resolve or other, they can simply be people who just like being mean or superior to others.. this is also a human common thing. I love teaching stuff to people (I've taught arts and crafts or computer stuff for instance), every time I loose an edge I had over them and that's fine, some people hate loosing that type of "edge", so they go the other way, human nature is infinitely varied but can mostly be divided into these two categories (and this is not set in stone, people go from one to the other, one day you will bully someone, whether you want to or not that's the way it works).
As for bullies on the www = easiest thing: teach yourself to ignore them
In the real world = ask for help.
The real difficult one is family= even if it's hard to accept, your parents siblings might never "get" you or what you aspire to, but you will regret it if you don't try and try again.
Sorry for the wall of text, and don't worry, there's always a light at the other side of the tunnel, if you are looking for it.
Don't get me wrong, I love my parents so much and IDC how momma's boy that makes me sound. I did manage to find a tech person at my dad's work and dad and I are going to talk PCs next friday, and eat at a BBQ place! (YAY RIBS)
My point was that my father enjoys being around wood (he makes boxes for fun) and I am a gamer and I like tech/being creative. So, similar hobbies but they do not relate at all. Since I'm being open my dad and I both have a little bit of AS as well. I can't spell it but it makes you have a harder time socialy but it makes your mind pretty fast as well. That's not to say either one of us is slow, my report cards are all As and Bs.
Anyway, I dislike the "trolls" that come out of the shadows and attack your posts even if you just want help. Sometimes I wonder where honest, and skilled, people hang out.
This leads to another problem, snobbishness. I doubt many of you guys are stuck-up but for many of the hobbies, projects and stuff, it seems like many people are "look at me and my $$$" instead of "how can I get you started in this field" It gets kinda depressing in trying to find decent advice from thoe who give it freely.
Sorry I left it open ended earlier, I guess It was obvious to me, forgot it wouldn't be for you.
In australia we have a forum which allows for multiple areas of assistance so can get help with programming and other things in a good environment with no bullying but there isnt anything on sc2 editor but general sc2 talk there is a bit.
but there a few exceptional people that are annoying.
Link:http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/
Just don't look on the Battlenet forums for advice. I usually go there to have some fun reading all the Intellectual waste they produce :3
Apart from that - just ask your real life and internet friends - I would guess they won't bully you when you ask them something :P
If you want to talk about 1v1 builds (and if you're EU) I can offer my help. I'm a pretty decent Terran (at least high Diamond-ish). So if you're developing Terran builds or need a Terran to train against I can be of help.
This is a social dilemma. however i find that in the loudest people are the most ignorant. when i'm in a anal forum i the image below in my profile. a lot of times its enough to make then wonder and start becoming somewhat accountable.
i made similar stuff like this. the viewer's browser (firefox,ie) see the code to load the image and when it grabs the image from the sever it has to make a connection. this logs the connection including ip and runs it though a ip database. it harmless
9/10 times I see people being jerks wasting their time when I need advice on say, building a PC
Woot, I'm in the 10%! But on a more serious note, I feel that I (and perhaps others) convinced you about the i5 which ended up being my good deed for the day.
This is a social dilemma. however i find that in the loudest people are the most ignorant. when i'm in a anal forum i the image below in my profile. a lot of times its enough to make then wonder and start becoming somewhat accountable.
i made similar stuff like this. the viewer's browser (firefox,ie) see the code to load the image and when it grabs the image from the sever it has to make a connection. this logs the connection including ip and runs it though a ip database. it harmless
Woot, I'm in the 10%! But on a more serious note, I feel that I (and perhaps others) convinced you about the i5 which ended up being my good deed for the day.
You guys did convince me, thanks a lot.
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I come here looking for mature people, and I hope I can snag a few to read this. I am sad to learn that the internet brings out the worst in people. I was hanging out on the Blizzard forums and I can't stop hearing cry this bully that. I have come to the conclusion that internet bullies have some problem in themselves, such as a life issue. Therefore, they feel the need to "kill" others.
This brings up another question I have pondered: Where do you turn when you need pure, honest, no bullying intended advice? Sure learning on my own is usually pretty effective, but I can't teach myself things I just plain do not understand, and nobody I associate with knows how to do what I would like to attempt.
This community is pretty friendly and thank God (if you're into him) that it's here :) Advice on this would be EXTREMELY helpful and insightful.
Bullies are just people who are hurt. They have some problem that they're unable to talk about, can't cope with, and most of the time it's frustrating for them, obviously, and the only way to seek some form of attention is to bully, because someone will get offended and get noticed. It's a cry for help that usually goes unanswered.
Where to turn to when you need pure, honest, no bullying intended advice?
Wether you are being bullied or not, how about your parents? Your aunts/uncles, older family members, school counselors, school teachers, principle? Anyone who you could look up to, really... I saw in your other post you are 16, so there are definitely ways for you to talk to someone for whatever reason.
I don't know if you live in NA or in EU, but here in Canada(and likely the US too) there's a kids help phoneline you can call toll free to just talk to someone, it's completely anonymous.
Hope some of that helps.
@BorgDragon: Go
uhhh well I am %100 sure I'm not suicidal, lol. I was actually wondering about hobbies and stuff. 9/10 times I see people being jerks wasting their time when I need advice on say, building a PC or on perfecting a build in a 1v1 SC2 match. My dad isn't he best person to talk with if I decided I wanted to be, for example, a NASCAR Driver. He has different hobbies than me. My mom was also wondering why people put others down, I was just talking with her about it. Bullying is supposedly illegal, but that says nothing about the WWW.
BTW: I have seen those hotlines and I live USA. It is hardly "coming out of the closet" types of issues I have lol.
@Reaper872: Go
OK... not once did the thought that you might be suicidal come into my mind... lol.
Kids Help Hotline is not(just) for 'coming out of the closet' types of issues... it's for kids who need to reach out to someone because of abuse be it physical, mental, or sexual... it's for any kind of problem; It's a place for kids who are unable/unwilling to go speak about something bothering them to someone they know like their parents or whatnot... lol...
Besides, you left the topic kind of vague, so...
Just because someone has different hobbies than you doesn't mean they're unable to help you come to the right decision FOR YOU.
I mean, do you think every young adult who wants to have a career in the military go talk to someone else... sure, their parents might never have been in the military, but they can still help you make the right decision, and why wouldn't they talk to their parents about something like that??
About wondering why people put others down... to make themselves feel better. When you think about all the problems you have, it seems as if it's the worst ever... so they put others down... they're no longer the lowest on the chain. But they rarely think of the hundreds of people in Africa, let alone Canada/US and other first-world countries who go without food or home every day... some problems truly aren't that big, but if it's yours, it seems like the biggest.
Dangit man, where do you live? You might be a few years older then me, (2) but I wish I had friends who are mature and tetchy like you. (I don't lack smart friends, but for some reason maturity doesn't go along with smartness for everyone like it dose with me)
And if you need help building a PC I'm yo man : )
(Posted from a PC I built)
@Reaper872: Go
I'm with you man. I try not to hang out with those people just because they are very...depressing and really kill your imagination, etc. Speaking of bullies I don't think its really because there hurt that they bully people but they like attention, and when they're not getting attention, there going to rage at someone and get the hive(Starcraft reference ftw!) stirred up so they get that attention. I'm not denying that they aren't hurt, everyone is to an extent, but it really has a lot more then just being hurt.
P.S: If you need help perfecting a build in SC2 msg me. I'll help ya.
To be fair, the internet is a great place for any kind of communication. You just need to A) know where to look and B) grow a thick skin. If you get offended by somebody saying something negative about you, it's A) most likely at least partly true or B) will hurt you because you have low self-esteem. If you know yourself well enough, you'll just shrug if a random person on the web calls you an asshole, because you know yourself better than him.
It's a task that can easily take years, but in the end, all you need to do to open up to a world of possible advice is realize that people who are assholes to you can't really do anything at all to you. Online, at least - physical bullying is a different story. It can be extremely tough to do, but realizing that that level 85 rogue ganking you is just some random frustrated guy who can't even do shit if you just log another character or go off for some tea puts you back in control.
That said - parents can often end up being more helpful than you think. I was a bit like you some time back. I have to say I'm extremely lucky with my parents, but that doesn't change the fact that they too are people and will probably have an opinion about something you have to say. If it's not a useful one, you can discard it. If it's useful... nothing lost, pure gain, right?
I usually learn in those ways:
A) I just fall flat on my face and know better next time (or not)
B) I learn it myself
C) The stars align in just the right way that the right person can teach me something.
D) Or I just find a good tutorial/guide.
If neither A or B work, chances are, that I'll never really grasp it anyways, no matter who explains it to me. Happens rarely that C is active. I couldn't do math at all for years, than I had a programming teacher do math too. Simply by telling me what kind of code would equal the mathematical function, I managed to pull off a 14/20 math test. Was kinda fun. D) is the most common thing that happens.
There is never any easy answers to "real" issues... everyone has at one time or another needed someone to confide in, it's a human need that can only be fulfilled in rare occasions and those should be identified and build upon/from (hopefully those are mostly happy events, unhappy ones are essential too and unavoidable).
You indeed have to take chances, your parents, a friend, or someone you look up to... just typing this post is one of an infinite number of ways to reach out, you'll get shot down sometimes/often but it's like relationships: you need to put yourself "in danger" of being shot down (avoid alleyways and www traps, that's not what I mean and I'm sure you know it).
Just build relationships, the social pressure is only potent if you let it rule your life (and it is present for everyone, just don't let it rule over you like so many people do). Just with this post 2 members have offered their help on two of your "hobbies", this ..because YOU asked. It won't be always be a successful move, but it will always take your commitment to make things happen/evolve.
You shared, so I'll show you it's a good thing to do so. I was taught english and then parachuted in a high school in Baltimore when I was 8, obviously it took some getting use to as I am not an anglo saxon and social pressure at that age is really something awful. I was picked on for several months as the "alien", at the time it took it's toll on me, and I guess among other experiences this forged an acute sense of right and wrong in my persona. I had always done fine on my own until then and this made new needs (friends for one) come out in me... I worked at it and it payed off: I got me some friends that liked the same things I did and I've kept some till this day... but I had to forego the vocal bully like people who liked other stuff (like picking on other people for one) and I had to look for the other less obvious ones until I found them.
I do hope you find people to confide in, loads of people don't even look/work at this and end up sad or cold. Bullies are not only people with issues to resolve or other, they can simply be people who just like being mean or superior to others.. this is also a human common thing. I love teaching stuff to people (I've taught arts and crafts or computer stuff for instance), every time I loose an edge I had over them and that's fine, some people hate loosing that type of "edge", so they go the other way, human nature is infinitely varied but can mostly be divided into these two categories (and this is not set in stone, people go from one to the other, one day you will bully someone, whether you want to or not that's the way it works).
As for bullies on the www = easiest thing: teach yourself to ignore them
In the real world = ask for help.
The real difficult one is family= even if it's hard to accept, your parents siblings might never "get" you or what you aspire to, but you will regret it if you don't try and try again.
Sorry for the wall of text, and don't worry, there's always a light at the other side of the tunnel, if you are looking for it.
@Mozared: Go
Don't get me wrong, I love my parents so much and IDC how momma's boy that makes me sound. I did manage to find a tech person at my dad's work and dad and I are going to talk PCs next friday, and eat at a BBQ place! (YAY RIBS)
My point was that my father enjoys being around wood (he makes boxes for fun) and I am a gamer and I like tech/being creative. So, similar hobbies but they do not relate at all. Since I'm being open my dad and I both have a little bit of AS as well. I can't spell it but it makes you have a harder time socialy but it makes your mind pretty fast as well. That's not to say either one of us is slow, my report cards are all As and Bs.
Anyway, I dislike the "trolls" that come out of the shadows and attack your posts even if you just want help. Sometimes I wonder where honest, and skilled, people hang out.
This leads to another problem, snobbishness. I doubt many of you guys are stuck-up but for many of the hobbies, projects and stuff, it seems like many people are "look at me and my $$$" instead of "how can I get you started in this field" It gets kinda depressing in trying to find decent advice from thoe who give it freely.
Sorry I left it open ended earlier, I guess It was obvious to me, forgot it wouldn't be for you.
@grenegg: Go
Maturity is over-rated! Just like sanity! <8D
@StatusQ3: Go
character and code #?
In australia we have a forum which allows for multiple areas of assistance so can get help with programming and other things in a good environment with no bullying but there isnt anything on sc2 editor but general sc2 talk there is a bit.
but there a few exceptional people that are annoying.
Link:http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/
@Reaper872: Go
Just don't look on the Battlenet forums for advice. I usually go there to have some fun reading all the Intellectual waste they produce :3
Apart from that - just ask your real life and internet friends - I would guess they won't bully you when you ask them something :P
If you want to talk about 1v1 builds (and if you're EU) I can offer my help. I'm a pretty decent Terran (at least high Diamond-ish). So if you're developing Terran builds or need a Terran to train against I can be of help.
@s3rius: Go
I'm o the NA (USA) servers. Thx anyway though, love the thought.
This is a social dilemma. however i find that in the loudest people are the most ignorant. when i'm in a anal forum i the image below in my profile. a lot of times its enough to make then wonder and start becoming somewhat accountable.
i made similar stuff like this. the viewer's browser (firefox,ie) see the code to load the image and when it grabs the image from the sever it has to make a connection. this logs the connection including ip and runs it though a ip database. it harmless
But, I am an asshole! What do I do? :(
Woot, I'm in the 10%! But on a more serious note, I feel that I (and perhaps others) convinced you about the i5 which ended up being my good deed for the day.
Mansfield picture? Why that town name?
You guys did convince me, thanks a lot.