I was with this girl for 7 months (on/off in the end), and we broke up 6 months ago.
Back then, I was an emotion-less boy that didn't really care, I was really a joke of a boyfriend (never gave flowers, always mad but not really, never took her out etc.). But I have been through some lifestyle camps, that have completely changed my life. (Camp True North, should you doubt)
And now I have begun thinking about her again, just had a dream this night (about her)((Non-sex related dream :P)). And i actually miss her, I want her back, I want to show her the Real me.
What should i do ? :/
Do I write her and tell her how i feel, and "beg" her for a second chance?
or do I ignore it, and just get on?
I have no clue what to do, everytime i think of her, it makes me confused :S
By the way, she was my first love, the first girl that actually cared about me and also my first kiss.
Really, you think here is the place to talk about this ?
For myself, i have no anwser for you, do as you like, try if you think i'll may work.
But by my opinion, it wont. I just got a new girlfriend, so i cant really help you in my state of mind anyway.
But, sc2mapster, is it the place to talk about that ... really ?
But, sc2mapster, is it the place to talk about that ... really ?
Do you have friends ? Or female friends ? I mean socialize normally not over internet, its bad for you. :)
BTW once "ex" there is probability that that relationship wont work. So if you decide, choose to enjoy rather than building long term relationship :) .
The great thing about the internet is that you can say stuff like this that you wouldn't say in real life.
But yeah it depends if you really want someone or not. If not, move on, get rich, etc... or work on this. Ultimately we can't really say because we aren't close to you and don't know the situation/personalities better.
don't write... give her a call once... if she doesn't pick up leave a short voice message that you want to talk to her or text her... If she calls back move on from there if not move on. Don't come of stalker ex-boyfriendish. Who ended the relationship you or her. If she did then it's a done deal. Rarely if they made the decision and the break up wasn't contingent on you cheating then your done son. Don't worry about it. If I were you I would enjot your freedom.
I'm not a fan of 'lifestyle' changing camps. You can't change who you are and what you like. Best way to live your life is make peace with that and accept it. If you honestly feel you want to change something, you'll eventually do it by yourself, I speak out of experience. All these 'lifestyle' camps attempt to forge people into something they are not like lab rats. Life doesn't work that way.
Regardless, do what your emotions tell you do. If you honestly feel something for her, you could always just write her and see where you end up. Being scared is a good emotion in this case - it nudges you to exercise caution.
Try dating a few other people first if you do get back with her. My first girlfriend and I were on and off and we never really did much really except for have sex. I don't really ever try to get back with her anymore though, even though she was my first "love" I suppose.
Although mostly its a done deal after a breakup even if you would get back together youll never last long (maybe a few years max but thats it)
And one thing that most people keep in mind is simply the fact that people changing who they are most of the time fail horribly. The only real way to change your self is get into a new enviroment as you did at camp. There it works but when in your old routine with people you know youll slump back because everyone expects that.
But then again just for the ease of mind remember the simple rule "If you dont try its an automatic no go"
If you dont contact her (in a very decent fashion) you'll always be thinking back to "what if" if she really means that much to you
If you do contact her (in a very decent fashion) the worst thing that can happen is the same result a not contacting her but without the doubt part
I think its cool that people would come here to ask questions like these. Especially on mapping forums. It really shows how the place isn't just strictly to mapping but also just a cool place to chill and chat it up. :)
I suggest you do one thing and one thing only. Apologize for being a tool and leave it at that. My guess is that you are a fairly young guy, so you have lots of time and opportunity. You yourself just went through a life change. Trying to rekindle something from the past may be a step backwards for you. I would recommend that you forget about her as a girlfriend or whatever, apologize and move on with your life. Because she was your first love and first kiss, she can always have a special place in your heart and memory.
Ask yourself this question. I you were dating a girl who acted like you used to, you broke up for six months and she came back out of the blue and wanted you back, would you take her? You are setting yourself up for heartache. Let her move on, you move on and always have good memories.
Because she was your first love and first kiss, she can always have a special place in your heart and memory.
There's a lot of good advice in this thread, but I think creosmalkor pretty much summed up everything in this one sentence. You're always going to think of her as better than most girls because she's meant so much to you in the past, but you need to consider that you guys broke up for a reason and it's very unlikely that you'll get back together.
Begging her to get back together with you sounds like the worst thing to do, instead you should probably just try to reconnect with her without putting any pressure on her. Maybe avoid the word 'relationship' and don't ask if you can start dating again but see if she wants to be friends again and let her get to know the new you. If she's not interested then you'll have to accept her answer with dignity and move on, and avoid calling her.
That's just my two cents, though. Who knows, maybe she's been waiting 6 months for you to change and ask her back (probably not)?
Why did you need life style camps or whatever? There is nothing wrong with no emotions. If people can't accept you for who you are then so be it. You don't need to change yourself to accommodate others. That's how I feel anyways. I'm probably a cold hearted bastard. Anyways do what you want.
I've been in a similar boat. Forgive me for being cynical, but I don't believe in second chances.
I really think this one depends on the reason she decided to call it off with you in the past.
If you believe the changes you went through during the camp have invalidated that reason, You may have a second chance.
If it was to hook up with someone else (Girls usually don't admit this) then forget about her, get closure and forget about her.
My ex refuses to take my calls almost all the time so I kinda gave up trying to salvage a friendship. I'm convinced she cheated
because I have incriminating evidence. But I chose not to keep it.
Life ain't fair. Sometimes you gotta choose to put the past behind and just move forwards.
The last thing you'd want is for her to call it off for the same reason that it happened in the past.
If you really want to give it a try. Try and find out why she called it off in the past (Difficulty: Insane), then make your decision.
Whatever it is, If my ex ever comes running back to me. She's not getting a second chance because I don't think I can trust her again.
anyway, back on topic. I second what creosmalkor said.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
Hi guys :)
I was with this girl for 7 months (on/off in the end), and we broke up 6 months ago.
Back then, I was an emotion-less boy that didn't really care, I was really a joke of a boyfriend (never gave flowers, always mad but not really, never took her out etc.). But I have been through some lifestyle camps, that have completely changed my life. (Camp True North, should you doubt)
And now I have begun thinking about her again, just had a dream this night (about her)((Non-sex related dream :P)). And i actually miss her, I want her back, I want to show her the Real me.
What should i do ? :/
Do I write her and tell her how i feel, and "beg" her for a second chance?
or do I ignore it, and just get on?
I have no clue what to do, everytime i think of her, it makes me confused :S
By the way, she was my first love, the first girl that actually cared about me and also my first kiss.
Thanks for reading :)
Really, you think here is the place to talk about this ?
For myself, i have no anwser for you, do as you like, try if you think i'll may work.
But by my opinion, it wont. I just got a new girlfriend, so i cant really help you in my state of mind anyway.
But, sc2mapster, is it the place to talk about that ... really ?
@ChaosBerserker: Go
These are "face-palm" moments in life?
Some times you get a second chance some times you dont.
Be nice and see how she responds.
If she blows you off i suggest you stay away from her.
Oh and i wouldnt go into detail about how youve changed.... its bound to be used against you.... or you will wind up dissapointing her.
@XanoX02
Well, i don't have any other forums that i actually post and read on soo :P
And my friends are selfish bastards with the attitude: "if it can walk, it can be fucked", so they arent the right people to talk to :P
But thanks anyway :)
@SouLCarveRR
Hmm, you are probably right.
Ill try, and hope for the best :)
Do you have friends ? Or female friends ? I mean socialize normally not over internet, its bad for you. :)
BTW once "ex" there is probability that that relationship wont work. So if you decide, choose to enjoy rather than building long term relationship :) .
The great thing about the internet is that you can say stuff like this that you wouldn't say in real life.
But yeah it depends if you really want someone or not. If not, move on, get rich, etc... or work on this. Ultimately we can't really say because we aren't close to you and don't know the situation/personalities better.
don't write... give her a call once... if she doesn't pick up leave a short voice message that you want to talk to her or text her... If she calls back move on from there if not move on. Don't come of stalker ex-boyfriendish. Who ended the relationship you or her. If she did then it's a done deal. Rarely if they made the decision and the break up wasn't contingent on you cheating then your done son. Don't worry about it. If I were you I would enjot your freedom.
I'm not a fan of 'lifestyle' changing camps. You can't change who you are and what you like. Best way to live your life is make peace with that and accept it. If you honestly feel you want to change something, you'll eventually do it by yourself, I speak out of experience. All these 'lifestyle' camps attempt to forge people into something they are not like lab rats. Life doesn't work that way.
Regardless, do what your emotions tell you do. If you honestly feel something for her, you could always just write her and see where you end up. Being scared is a good emotion in this case - it nudges you to exercise caution.
Try dating a few other people first if you do get back with her. My first girlfriend and I were on and off and we never really did much really except for have sex. I don't really ever try to get back with her anymore though, even though she was my first "love" I suppose.
Although mostly its a done deal after a breakup even if you would get back together youll never last long (maybe a few years max but thats it)
And one thing that most people keep in mind is simply the fact that people changing who they are most of the time fail horribly. The only real way to change your self is get into a new enviroment as you did at camp. There it works but when in your old routine with people you know youll slump back because everyone expects that.
But then again just for the ease of mind remember the simple rule "If you dont try its an automatic no go"
If you dont contact her (in a very decent fashion) you'll always be thinking back to "what if" if she really means that much to you
If you do contact her (in a very decent fashion) the worst thing that can happen is the same result a not contacting her but without the doubt part
So what have you to loose?
Make a map for her.
Im sure she will love it!
@zenx1: Go
lol a zerg in love map xD
(hope she haves sc2 )
@zenx1
Lulz xD She aint no gamer though, wo i don't really think she would know what to say :P
And i will try contacting her tomorrow, hoping for the best ofc :)
Thanks for the support guys :D
this is one of the top 5 weirdest topic's i have ever read -.-
and i mean WEIRD
@KiwiWarrior: Go
I think its cool that people would come here to ask questions like these. Especially on mapping forums. It really shows how the place isn't just strictly to mapping but also just a cool place to chill and chat it up. :)
I suggest you do one thing and one thing only. Apologize for being a tool and leave it at that. My guess is that you are a fairly young guy, so you have lots of time and opportunity. You yourself just went through a life change. Trying to rekindle something from the past may be a step backwards for you. I would recommend that you forget about her as a girlfriend or whatever, apologize and move on with your life. Because she was your first love and first kiss, she can always have a special place in your heart and memory.
Ask yourself this question. I you were dating a girl who acted like you used to, you broke up for six months and she came back out of the blue and wanted you back, would you take her? You are setting yourself up for heartache. Let her move on, you move on and always have good memories.
There's a lot of good advice in this thread, but I think creosmalkor pretty much summed up everything in this one sentence. You're always going to think of her as better than most girls because she's meant so much to you in the past, but you need to consider that you guys broke up for a reason and it's very unlikely that you'll get back together.
Begging her to get back together with you sounds like the worst thing to do, instead you should probably just try to reconnect with her without putting any pressure on her. Maybe avoid the word 'relationship' and don't ask if you can start dating again but see if she wants to be friends again and let her get to know the new you. If she's not interested then you'll have to accept her answer with dignity and move on, and avoid calling her.
That's just my two cents, though. Who knows, maybe she's been waiting 6 months for you to change and ask her back (probably not)?
Tie up all lose ends, but let bygones be bygones.
Tell her you're sorry, but expect to move on with life.
Why did you need life style camps or whatever? There is nothing wrong with no emotions. If people can't accept you for who you are then so be it. You don't need to change yourself to accommodate others. That's how I feel anyways. I'm probably a cold hearted bastard. Anyways do what you want.
I've been in a similar boat. Forgive me for being cynical, but I don't believe in second chances.
I really think this one depends on the reason she decided to call it off with you in the past. If you believe the changes you went through during the camp have invalidated that reason, You may have a second chance.
If it was to hook up with someone else (Girls usually don't admit this) then forget about her, get closure and forget about her. My ex refuses to take my calls almost all the time so I kinda gave up trying to salvage a friendship. I'm convinced she cheated because I have incriminating evidence. But I chose not to keep it.
Life ain't fair. Sometimes you gotta choose to put the past behind and just move forwards. The last thing you'd want is for her to call it off for the same reason that it happened in the past.
If you really want to give it a try. Try and find out why she called it off in the past (Difficulty: Insane), then make your decision.
Whatever it is, If my ex ever comes running back to me. She's not getting a second chance because I don't think I can trust her again.
anyway, back on topic. I second what creosmalkor said.